In 2020, I was given the opportunity to be a part of an anthology book project. I was excited to be writing again and looked forward to what was in store. However, after taking pictures for the cover, I was faced with seeing myself. Looking at those photos, I felt awful. I didn’t like the way my face looked. I thought they would have turned out better.
The word “FAT” came to mind. I also cut my hair before the photo shoot, and I was feeling really good about it until I saw the pictures. I immediately thought the short cut made my face look fatter. Maybe, the long hair had a more slimming effect. I went from feeling good to feeling depressed. My husband said these words to me….” You are your worst enemy.” Those words hit me right between the eyes. Everyone was raving about my hair and make-up, but all I could see was my fat face in those photos!
Identifying and Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Often, we can be our worst enemy, never seeing the beauty in our own selves. We pick away at the very best part of who we are finding fault in our process. We compare ourselves to others, only seeing the happy ending to their process. We crucify ourselves for the smallest setback or obstacles standing in our way. We take the blame for things that are completely out of our control. We turn every good thing about us into a tragedy.
As a woman with ADHD, I have come to realize that many of us tend to be our own worst enemies. Whether we have ADHD or not, our inner critic can be harsh and relentless. We often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and beat ourselves up when we fall short. This negative self-talk can be debilitating and prevent us from reaching our full potential.
One of the keys to overcoming this self-sabotage is to learn to look at things from a different perspective. Instead of focusing on our shortcomings and mistakes, we need to learn to celebrate our strengths and successes. This doesn’t mean ignoring our flaws or making excuses for our mistakes. Rather, it means recognizing that we are all human and that imperfection is part of the human experience.
For those of us with ADHD, this can be especially challenging. We may struggle with focus and organization and feel like we are constantly falling behind. But by reframing our thinking, we can turn these perceived weaknesses into strengths. We can learn to harness our creativity and ability to hyperfocus on tasks that truly matter to us.
Another important aspect of overcoming our self-doubt is having faith in God. Having a relationship with God, the Holy Spirit, can provide comfort and strength. We can trust that God has a plan for our lives and that everything happens for a reason. By surrendering our worries and fears to Him, we can find peace and clarity.
So, how can we overcome our negative self-talk and become our own best allies? Here are a few steps to get started:
- Practice self-compassion: You should be kind and understanding to yourself, just as you would a close friend. Instead of berating yourself for mistakes, offer words of encouragement and support.
- Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments. Use these as reminders of your worth and abilities.
- Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. What does God’s Word say about you? “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
- Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, a life coach, or a therapist for support and guidance. Sometimes, just talking through our feelings with someone else can help us gain a new perspective.
Call to action: I encourage you to take some time today to reflect on your inner voice.
Let’s Chat!
- Are you your own worst enemy?
- What negative self-talk do you engage in?
- How can you reframe your thinking and become your own best ally?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s support each other as we strive to overcome our self-doubt and live our best lives.