Faith & Focus: ADHD, Holy Spirit and Me – Post 4
Why am I this way? Why can’t I learn like everyone else? Why does it feel so hard to do what seems so simple for others? These questions followed me like a shadow for more than 40 years. I carried the weight of not knowing, of wondering if I was broken, or if maybe God had skipped over me when He was handing out “normal.” It wasn’t until I was 42 that the pieces finally came together and everything clicked.
The Years of Why
The years of why stretched across every season of my life. As a child, it was the struggle to keep up with schoolwork. As a young woman, it was the frustration of starting projects and leaving them half-finished. As a wife and mom, it was the guilt of never feeling “enough.” On the outside, I looked like I had it together, but inside, I was exhausted from trying to hold everything in place. Deep down, I feared there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t have the words to name it.
My Son’s Battle and the Diagnosis That Changed Everything
My son’s struggle was the beginning of my breakthrough. At seventeen, what we thought was simply a season of spiritual warfare was diagnosed as ADHD. Hearing those words from his therapist was like hitting a wall. My heart ached because I didn’t want him to carry something that felt like a burden. What I didn’t know then was that God was using my son’s journey to open my eyes to my own. That diagnosis was not just his; it was the beginning of mine.
Facing Denial and Breaking Stigmas
At first, I was in total denial. My son couldn’t have ADHD — not him! And if it did run in families, well, then it had to come from my husband’s side, not mine. (I laughed about that part, but I was serious too.) Truthfully, I was wrestling with stigma. Growing up in church, the message was often that if you prayed harder, focused more, or had stronger faith, struggles like this would disappear. So, I shoved the thought aside… until the Lord nudged me to look a little closer.
Finally, an Answer: My ADHD Diagnosis
I wanted answers, but I didn’t expect them to come so clearly. What started as an online quiz ended with an official evaluation, and the truth staring me in the face: ADD/Inattentive. I sat in awe as years of questions suddenly lined up. My sleepless nights, my restless emotions, my distracted mind, they weren’t random flaws. They had a name. And with that name came a strange mix of emotions: grief for the years of struggle, but also relief for finally understanding myself.
Reframing My Life Through God’s Plan (Jeremiah 29:11)
Even after my diagnosis, I still found myself asking God hard questions: Why did You make me this way? His gentle answer came through His Word in Jeremiah 29:11 — “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” I realized He never created me by accident. Every part of me— the racing thoughts, the restless nights, he knew the emotional highs and lows before I ever lived a single day.
Slowly, I began shifting my focus from what I lacked to what He had placed inside me. What I once saw as weakness, God began to show me as strength. My ADHD didn’t disqualify me; it equipped me with creativity, compassion, and the ability to see the world in ways others might miss. What I thought made me “less than” was actually part of the unique way He designed me.
Embracing Purpose and Creativity with ADHD
Once I stopped seeing my ADHD as a flaw and started seeing it as part of God’s design, I began to notice the gifts tucked inside it. So many of the things I used to criticize about myself were actually clues to my calling. My tendency to think outside the box gave me creativity in writing, sewing, and even problem-solving in ways others might not see. My passion and energy made me bold in sharing my story and encouraging others.
Instead of chasing careers or callings that demanded rigid structure, I leaned into the spaces where creativity could flow. That shift brought joy back into my life. What once left me frustrated has now become a reminder that God created me on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose.
If you’re walking through your own ADHD journey, I want you to hear this: your diagnosis doesn’t define you, but it can help explain you. And more importantly, God already knew every part of your story. His plans for you are still good. They are still full of hope. And when you embrace who He made you to be, you’ll begin to see that everything about you, even the parts you once questioned, can be used for His glory.
Lord, thank You for creating me with intention and purpose. Even when I don’t understand myself, You remind me that every part of me was designed by Your hand. Help me to see my ADHD not as a weakness but as a gift You can use for Your glory. Teach me to embrace the creativity, passion, and uniqueness You’ve placed inside of me. And may my life always reflect the hope and future You promised in Your Word. Amen.
Let’s Chat!
- Have you ever had a moment where a diagnosis or new understanding finally gave language to your struggles? What was that like for you?
- When you think about Jeremiah 29:11, how does that verse bring comfort in seasons where you’ve asked God “why”?
- What qualities or gifts has God revealed in you that you once saw as weaknesses?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! Let’s build a safe and strong community of support. I look forward to hearing from you!
If this story resonated with you, I’d love to hear your journey. Have you had a moment where everything finally clicked? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us in The ADHD Faith Connection community, where we’re walking this path together.